B-O-S-A-N bodohh~

the days have been bloody damn mundane. and who the hell likes it. feeling so freaking down. i just feel pathetic for myself. seems like many have no time to spare with me. either they are busy with their working and schooling life or they are just plain lazy to 'entertain' me. thanks ehk~ honestly i have NO LIFE this past few days. on and off the computer for the whole day. at most, i would just stare at the screen blankly in hope for some miracle to happen. my pleasure if there is allien who wish to talk to me. had enough of browsing stuffs, playing games, watching online movies. simply EVERYTHING. it just kills my eyes. damnit. karaoke but i would get tired after few hours. haizz... in and out kitchen super-ALOT-of-time in search of food. it is not that i am really hungry yet the urge to eat due to boredom is the reason for it. been sleeping for i-dont-know-how-long until i suffered backpain and headache. goshh.. maybe i should consider to occupy myself AGAIN with activities and perhaps people would then feel the absence of me. hmphh~ game of selfishness but who cares actually. enough said.

i need to get myself a life. get going MONDAY!!

All i Need is Forgiveness :(

i am so worn out by now but my mind simply not. still having a guilt feeling about spoiling the whole plan to sentosa yesterday. ‘ADILAH, AKU BENCI ENGKAU!!’ those words keep playing in my mind. Whether she meant it or not, I don’t give a damn because the fact is I have made the BIGGEST mistake. Yes, i realize it is hard to get us together but when opportunities there, i just have to mess up everything. my bet. you can put the blame on me. I am sincerely SORRY okay!! maybe my pic tells you how sincere i am. :) give me a chance to amend everything. or maybe you should tell me what i am suppose to do?? haha.. cock up plan because i went to johor with my parents. my fault because i forgot about the 'plan' and worst still i am the one who voice out about going to johor when knowing that my parents not working. duhh~ selenger kann.. gatal sangat.. whatever~ ate our breakfast as soon as we reached johor. after that, mom's went to get a massage while me and abah went for a walk while waiting. still got time playing arcade alone macam budak bodoh. scouting for slipper there but end up bought a shoe instead. haha.. sorry abah. pity him. next time dont bring this princess of yours because she would definitely 'used up' some of your money. hee.. :P bought many dunkin donuts for the hungry ghosts at home. ate again after an hour. mamposs~ mane tak aku boncet. my hot body?? fat hope. white flag beb!!

bad day on the day before. my maid accidentally burnt my shirt.just bought that shirt la SIALL!! Bodoh nak mamposs!! she did that not once but TWICE. if there is second , i bet there should be third time. ARGHH~!! first time on my all-time baju kebaya but i kept it silent, looking at her pathetic face and first timer. forget it and now AGAIN?? Goshh!! not even once i wear that shirt la pukiii~ damnn!! i just wished she return home or back to the agency REAL SOON. desperately in need of another maid pls~!!!

end up wore a polo t-shirt instead to beck's open house. and someone teased me. 'baru balik sekolah kape??' hishh.. did not expect some people still wearing baju kurung because 'someone' said they (she did listed 4 names including herself) wore casual. (casual means smart?? dont understand them actually. haha..) so yaa.. this idiot just follow the flow. shirt and TAPERED jean for me. selekeh sangat kerr?? that's my casual. what do you expect. hmphh~ dont deny i felt odd too but whatever~

reached beck's crib. goodness!! could not believe my eyes actually when i saw beck. oppzz.. i mean shidah. hee.. first look macam bapokk seyy.. i am sorry but i am just being honest here. =P but SERIOUSLY she's hot that day. simply could not get enough of her. i swear. i dont think i am the only one who 'fall' for her (only for that day) but adq's too. how i wish she could be like that everyday. haha..

went back home straight since my parents asked to tag along to my aunt's crib and to have our dinner after that. reached home, i hurriedly changed myself. and i realized that i am the ONLY one to be ready and the rest still have yet to change. fuckhead laa.. i rushed myself because they said they would be out prolly after maghrib but end up after isyak. always like that. buat penat aku jekk lincah2. hmphh~ got pissed with my first brother. he switched off the computer while i am browsing some stuffs while waiting for them to be ready. SIALANN!! dengki punye donkey. could not stop cursing him at that moment in front of my parents. if not because of my parents, i wont be out together with that fucker. lost my mood on that day. bloody hell.

on the saturday, supposingly went to my friend’s pit at the sentosa in the afternoon but end up I accompany mar instead to peninsula to buy tapered jeans. Many reasons which I don’t wish to elaborate lead me to the change of plan. 'bohong sunat' to escape myself. haha.. anyway, we didnt spend time togeteher that long. ade jekk 'org' yang nak mengacau. haizzz.. potong steam betol. hmphh~ next time perhaps. :) and yaa.. skipping school again on the Friday. this time round with kinshe. had a complicated journey to mustapha centre that day. Up and down bus for god-knows-how-many-times. haha.. first stop to tekka mall and some shops along the streets. looking at the primary school kids somehow reminded me the times when i was once 'them'. those were the days. thanks god we lost our way in 'searching' for that building. it was not that we did not know where to alight but 'something' just stop us from moving out from that bloody bus until we realized that we were away from the serangoon area. quite thrilling journey actually.*wink*



reached our real destination, we went to sakunthala's palace to have our breakfast. the mutton kebabs that been ordered was way off my expectation. it did not turn out as great and because of it, WE have to find our way to the toilet. hmphh~ it was hell tiring trying to walk the whole building in searching for things but we ended up buying NOTHING. haha.. :P and i bet kinshe was pissed with me and having a hard time helping me out with my 'decision making'. fickle minded. hee.. but seriously it was hell fun although it was only the two of us that day. :)