How Low Can One Be??

feels like ages since the last rantings and rumblings of the restless mind. so dramatic. haha. i think i have tons to write. no, i dont think. i DO have tons to write but i dont know what to start with. hmm.. i am having mixed emotions rights now. i am happy for you that you gonna represent for Singapore but at the same time, its hard for me to let you go by yourself for 2 years. damnit. its killing me slowly. whatever you think that best for you, i wont hold against it. i would definitely miss you for sure. haizzz..



some things about me you just have NO RIGHTS to know. not even my parents, whats more YOU, fucker. stop being such a busybody. if you are fine with it, i dont mind actually but i know you too well okay. i am really annoyed. your sucks attitude simply turns me off and many times it prompts me to say nasty things. FUCK YOUU!!




i am feeling freaking down lately. sometimes i feel that i am being used. am i naive and gullible? maybe i should not be too nice. but i dont want to look like i am bad. i dont want to because i care but anybody care? complicated ehk. ohh yaa.. thanks god i got myself c grades for ALL modules last week. damnit. this time i believe that i was been DOWNGRADED. have been coming to school super late lately. maybe not lately but from since-i-dont-know-when actually. haha.. change or you never change adilah. can anyone help to knock some sense into me?? i thought i can depend on you but seems you giving me false hope. hmphh~



might as well you switch off the phone than to silent it because you would not be response it anyway. dumbass. and yaa.. dont promise me what you cant keep. mind you, it really hurts baby. hmm.. this is so random. the class have been more and more vulgarities. quite offensive many times. fucking rude. it sounds fun initially but it turns to be fucking irritating actually. haizz.. seriously they have no life. okay2.. i know this post is not a proper one and too vague but i really did that purposely. Its for me to know and for you to find out.

above all, i miss you!!

B-O-S-A-N bodohh~

the days have been bloody damn mundane. and who the hell likes it. feeling so freaking down. i just feel pathetic for myself. seems like many have no time to spare with me. either they are busy with their working and schooling life or they are just plain lazy to 'entertain' me. thanks ehk~ honestly i have NO LIFE this past few days. on and off the computer for the whole day. at most, i would just stare at the screen blankly in hope for some miracle to happen. my pleasure if there is allien who wish to talk to me. had enough of browsing stuffs, playing games, watching online movies. simply EVERYTHING. it just kills my eyes. damnit. karaoke but i would get tired after few hours. haizz... in and out kitchen super-ALOT-of-time in search of food. it is not that i am really hungry yet the urge to eat due to boredom is the reason for it. been sleeping for i-dont-know-how-long until i suffered backpain and headache. goshh.. maybe i should consider to occupy myself AGAIN with activities and perhaps people would then feel the absence of me. hmphh~ game of selfishness but who cares actually. enough said.

i need to get myself a life. get going MONDAY!!

All i Need is Forgiveness :(

i am so worn out by now but my mind simply not. still having a guilt feeling about spoiling the whole plan to sentosa yesterday. ‘ADILAH, AKU BENCI ENGKAU!!’ those words keep playing in my mind. Whether she meant it or not, I don’t give a damn because the fact is I have made the BIGGEST mistake. Yes, i realize it is hard to get us together but when opportunities there, i just have to mess up everything. my bet. you can put the blame on me. I am sincerely SORRY okay!! maybe my pic tells you how sincere i am. :) give me a chance to amend everything. or maybe you should tell me what i am suppose to do?? haha.. cock up plan because i went to johor with my parents. my fault because i forgot about the 'plan' and worst still i am the one who voice out about going to johor when knowing that my parents not working. duhh~ selenger kann.. gatal sangat.. whatever~ ate our breakfast as soon as we reached johor. after that, mom's went to get a massage while me and abah went for a walk while waiting. still got time playing arcade alone macam budak bodoh. scouting for slipper there but end up bought a shoe instead. haha.. sorry abah. pity him. next time dont bring this princess of yours because she would definitely 'used up' some of your money. hee.. :P bought many dunkin donuts for the hungry ghosts at home. ate again after an hour. mamposs~ mane tak aku boncet. my hot body?? fat hope. white flag beb!!

bad day on the day before. my maid accidentally burnt my shirt.just bought that shirt la SIALL!! Bodoh nak mamposs!! she did that not once but TWICE. if there is second , i bet there should be third time. ARGHH~!! first time on my all-time baju kebaya but i kept it silent, looking at her pathetic face and first timer. forget it and now AGAIN?? Goshh!! not even once i wear that shirt la pukiii~ damnn!! i just wished she return home or back to the agency REAL SOON. desperately in need of another maid pls~!!!

end up wore a polo t-shirt instead to beck's open house. and someone teased me. 'baru balik sekolah kape??' hishh.. did not expect some people still wearing baju kurung because 'someone' said they (she did listed 4 names including herself) wore casual. (casual means smart?? dont understand them actually. haha..) so yaa.. this idiot just follow the flow. shirt and TAPERED jean for me. selekeh sangat kerr?? that's my casual. what do you expect. hmphh~ dont deny i felt odd too but whatever~

reached beck's crib. goodness!! could not believe my eyes actually when i saw beck. oppzz.. i mean shidah. hee.. first look macam bapokk seyy.. i am sorry but i am just being honest here. =P but SERIOUSLY she's hot that day. simply could not get enough of her. i swear. i dont think i am the only one who 'fall' for her (only for that day) but adq's too. how i wish she could be like that everyday. haha..

went back home straight since my parents asked to tag along to my aunt's crib and to have our dinner after that. reached home, i hurriedly changed myself. and i realized that i am the ONLY one to be ready and the rest still have yet to change. fuckhead laa.. i rushed myself because they said they would be out prolly after maghrib but end up after isyak. always like that. buat penat aku jekk lincah2. hmphh~ got pissed with my first brother. he switched off the computer while i am browsing some stuffs while waiting for them to be ready. SIALANN!! dengki punye donkey. could not stop cursing him at that moment in front of my parents. if not because of my parents, i wont be out together with that fucker. lost my mood on that day. bloody hell.

on the saturday, supposingly went to my friend’s pit at the sentosa in the afternoon but end up I accompany mar instead to peninsula to buy tapered jeans. Many reasons which I don’t wish to elaborate lead me to the change of plan. 'bohong sunat' to escape myself. haha.. anyway, we didnt spend time togeteher that long. ade jekk 'org' yang nak mengacau. haizzz.. potong steam betol. hmphh~ next time perhaps. :) and yaa.. skipping school again on the Friday. this time round with kinshe. had a complicated journey to mustapha centre that day. Up and down bus for god-knows-how-many-times. haha.. first stop to tekka mall and some shops along the streets. looking at the primary school kids somehow reminded me the times when i was once 'them'. those were the days. thanks god we lost our way in 'searching' for that building. it was not that we did not know where to alight but 'something' just stop us from moving out from that bloody bus until we realized that we were away from the serangoon area. quite thrilling journey actually.*wink*



reached our real destination, we went to sakunthala's palace to have our breakfast. the mutton kebabs that been ordered was way off my expectation. it did not turn out as great and because of it, WE have to find our way to the toilet. hmphh~ it was hell tiring trying to walk the whole building in searching for things but we ended up buying NOTHING. haha.. :P and i bet kinshe was pissed with me and having a hard time helping me out with my 'decision making'. fickle minded. hee.. but seriously it was hell fun although it was only the two of us that day. :)

PMS

Sudah lupakan saja
Semua rasa cinta yang ada
Antara kau dan aku
Memanglah sudah tiada rasa

Biar - biarkan saja
Semua cerita yang telah lalu
Anggap tak pernah ada
Sesuatu antara kita berdua

self-declare holiday today. wohoo~ heaven!! finally.. suprisingly my parents are fine with it. :) And thanks i got myself c grade for last week. not 1 but 2. haizz.. make up a total of 5Cs now. (mostly from enterprise) DAMNN to all the the faci-es whom have graded me c. stoopid~ them. i bet i gonna get another c next week due to my yesterday performance and apparently x for today. Greatt~!! whatever~ i am really pissed off yesterday. i swear. I was really pressurized by the fact that i got to group with ALL the SMART student, and someone kept bugging me to do more research plus work just because i am the weakest link. thanks ehk~!! too demanding. it was infuriating. C'mon laa.. i know where i stand and i knows well what i have to do. in fact i realized it long ago. i simply hate people who is trying to control me. to do this. to do that. mind you ass-hole that i am not your maid okayy!!

speaking of which, i am starting to hate this mina aka slut more and more can. she have been behaving like a bitch. attention seeker. seriously, it annoys the shit out of me looking at her. get yourself a life, and live it!! my used to be handsome baby boy. quiet good looking but attitude sucks. black fucker. made a comeback. lame. *inside jokes*

recently, i am starting to hate more and more people. some for no good reason of course. get the drift?? i am not sure whether is there something wrong with you people or it is just me. pray hard for you so as not to be the victim.

Deepest Thought

im so worn out and i am rotting in class now doing nothing. as always adilah. haha.. bum in RP. cut & paste. you just need to fucking understand the slides and crap lots during presentation. slackers. okay. my plan is to jog EVERY (this shows how serious i am to develop myself a hot body. haha..) morning but i have fucking UT every tuesday and thursday. and i dont want take a risk of going to school late. but i am still late for UT yesterday. Damnn it!! so contradicting. i know. whatever~ who cares.. this morning went jogging with mar again. luckily she called me or else i might continue sleeping peacefully. wakaka.. my body is aching everywhere due to the first jogging and some fitness. 50 sit-ups is killing me. i swear. i know i have to gain back my stamina. i will make a comeback people. haha.. =P

this is so random. i am very much hooked onto adam's ku bertanya. i have been repeating this song for god-knows-how-many-times and i simply could not get enough of it. slow and sad tune, together with the melodies reminded me of something. i have got so much to say. but i just cant. :(

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri =))

i'm knackered!! just got back from my aunt's place. it is second day of raya but i still could not feel the raya mood this year. i dont know why. i did not buy ANYTHING this year. its not because my parents didnt ask but i just dont want to. pape laa~ yesterday, we were supposed to be out prolly after zuhur but as usual. it was delayed. everybody was still slacking, watching tv and worst still my brother was still sleeping. at that point of time, i have yet to decide what to wear on that day. mamposs~ seriously i am not prepared for anything. only mom's was busy getting ready. semangat~ haha.. until mom's shouted 'korang kalau taknak keluar biar mak ngan abah jekk keluar' wakakaa.. she's cute.

fast foward~

like any other hari raya, after everybody's ready, its time to seek forgiveness from one another. as usual, i kept smiling and i could hear the vibration of my voice. nervous la seyy.. mcm uat presentation aku nie. haha.. indeed its me. i might seem not serious but deep inside, i am sincere to seek forgiveness. get the drift?? got my first green packet. weee~ actually its not the first because i got green packets from my neighbor the day before. i know its redundant but who cares. haha.. visited 2 houses only yesterday. 1 from abah's side and another from mom's side. fair enough. borinn.. some of the msgs that cheer me up from my boredom were 'baju tak lawa. rambot pendek mcm pantat. kene pakai make-up pulak tu. da mcm bapok sey. tension sey.' & ' amcm lah, da dpt bnyk collection. mon nak pi shoping kaperr? ' hahaa.. cute right my friends??


on the 13th .. which is yesterday .. ASRULWAN turns 18!!
Happy 18th Birthday Boyy!!



who's that girl??

Gabby aka daddy - smart and horny guy sharil - this guy is cute. listen to his R. =P

matt - one of the handsome guy. he is 'gay'. haha..

lets backtrack a little. these pictures were caught and been uploaded inside student presentations folder. so dead annoying. bloody hell~ those bastards wanna make a record who would be the king or queen 'sleepheader' for this semester. fuckhead. dont u guys have any better things to do then taking pictures of the people who's sleeping. hmphh~ luckily my picture looks fine. wakaka.. heyy waitt!! i am not the only girl who was caught sleeping in class okay!! there was one more but i have accidentally deleted her pic. duhh~

went to geylang on last wednesday with the kratings. the outing was fine. the start off was as usual havoc and happening but something simply turns me off at one point. i did not get what i want. i missed 3 person. hmphh~ whatever~ grumpy. mood swing?? let it be. whatever it is. I LOVE YOU GUYS TO BITS AND PIECES OKAY!! i miss those naughty times. ;)

other then that, i'll let the pics do the talking.

me & adq. sweet kn??
jang & mar - the reserved player for the day =P

beck & olive - they will tend to fight anywhere & everywhere. haha.. cute.
syah & sam *arent they cute??*



okay.. more backtrack. =P one of the day on the last 2 weeks. again. the outing to geylang but this time round with the 3 monkeys. crazy bimbo. it was real blast. i swear. finally. i am getting wild and crazy again~!! thanks to them. we were sure loud!! laughed like arses.

okay..it took me ages to upload the pics. haha..



little miss late - okay adilah. stop it!! burokk kiee..

little miss giggles - falylittle miss stubborn - mira

little miss trouble - kinshe

do u guys notice that the 3 monkeys have the same pose?? step cute jekk korang.. wakakaa..

mira had treated us to the sumptous feast. thanks babe!! finally i got to eat dendeng. but its awful baby. bluekzz.. :/ like eat or not i forced myself to eat. orang da belanje beb. tak baek buang2.. anyway they kept teasing me boncet that day. hmphh~ i definitely would do workout after 1 week of hari raya. marks my word people!! give me a month and i will show u guys my hot body. maybe not. hee... at least no more fats sounds better. ;P
fatigued walking here walking there, its time for hiatus-ing. got a back massage. arghh~ its painful but nice can. okayy..we gonna have more fun yaa next time.

there was one of the day i went to bugis last week with mar and adq. yess.. the sisters. cheeky them. dirt crap all the way. super fun. but korang, perangai bugis jangan bawa luar kiee?? start there, ends there. ;-) i was actually scouting for skinny jeans but end up i bought a cardigan and polo shirt instead. haha.. adq wanted the cardigan and mar wanted the polo shirt but aku yang dapat dulu. wakaka.. korang wait long2 kie.. hee.. =P its exciting seeing them getting irritated. jahat seyy aku. n yaa.. they bought a watch each. i would buy too if only i wear but sayang.. i dont like to wear watch. :/

okay. i think im done here. i need my sleeping beauty now. anyway to those who i have yet to wish, just wanna say SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!! MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN. pardon me for any misdeeds and wrongdoings. kalau tak malu, datang la rumah yerr~ ;))

moving on.....

sorry to my avid readers for the super late entry. i am just plain lazy too update stuffs here. i knew i broke my promise. my bet. i owe you one okayy?? ;-))

Went for my eye check on the saturday somewhere at town. Brought along 3 people to escort me. never would I go some ‘exotic’ place alone. Yaa.. I am someone who is very dependable on others. fair enough. this time i admit that i am still a LITTLE girl. satisfied?? Okayy.. I pestered them to sit at the top of the double decker bus despite the crowded bus. and.. i made them lost their way for a few times. I bet they were pissed with me. Muahahaa.. =P had a match against jolliled at night and we lost. Been told that most of the opponent players are ‘new’ but seems that there are MANY familiar faces. Cheated my feeling sey.. Hmphh~ I would not talk about my performance on that day. Sucks big time. Thanks god left one more game before I decided to back off from soccer. and i MEANT it!!

Having a total of three and half hour breaks in school merely bored me to death. The feeling so sucky. Occupied myself going for talks before and after school just to collect the fucking points. snoring my way through for the talks that I have attended . And I swear I know nuts about any talks that I have gone to. Haha. who would actually have such a ‘long’ attention span on the talks. Everyone would prolly stone or just sleep or doing their own stuffs. i bet most of them attended talks for the sake of collecting points. there was once when i made kinshe and faly waited for me like an idiot. blame to the facilitator who released my class late and as a result the lecturer room have been occupied with aliens from different world and species. sorry guyzz~ just slack. endured the noises made by my tummy. Bleagh!! it is proven the school days have been bloody damn mundane!

Classmates crazy people. dirt crap and bitching in the msn during lesson – whole class was been added inside the conversation. Pure fun. Wakakaa.. I have this classic guy in my class who is a real smart ass. He would be doing his own stuffs and playing games all the time but when it come to presentation, he could crap and bullshit his way through and miraculously he did better than others who have been putting in more effort. I wonder what brain he is using. Haizz..There is this mina in my class who simply have NO LIFE during her semester one. Goodness!! She have not tried copy 6P before and she hardly used other people’s ppt to cut-and-paste like many others did. she said that her class used to be competitive. and now she deprived from that. Those were the days. One Damn Joker in my class. cute. He is a blur-cock. I swear. Been bullied everyday but he seems enjoying it. idiot. Pity him at times. having him around simply make the class more lively. he is also the person where people turns to for the latest movies. hehe..N yaa.. not forgetting my handsome baby boy. bitchy me. One is never enough. ;-P Wakakaa.. he is nice but he could be a real jackass too. he is good at playing words. guys~

My daily grades for the last two weeks was really unexpected. 7 Bs And 3 Cs compared to the first semester where I got 10Cs in a row during the same period. It was a good start for me. I don’t think I did as well in term of my performance in class because I never would but in my RJ perhaps. all you need is sincerity. but hell NO~!! I DONT bootlick the facilitator okay!! Hmphh~

This is so random. I am lacking in self - discipline. Lateness kick ass. PUNCTUALITY!! It is a serious issues. i have been late for school for god-knows-how-many-times. i should call myself lucky enough if my grade would not be downgraded. haizz.. i could set 2 alarm clock but i just could not wake up! And someone was NEARLY gave up giving me a morning call (at 4 in the afternoon. Haha..) last Saturday. Blame it all on the so cool weather that forced me to stay on the bed. Blame to the tiredness caused by sleeping late. Blame to whoever in the house who never help to wake me up. And blame to everybody and everything EXCEPT myself. okayy2.. i am going too far.



Finally I need not have to do anymore housechores after 2 weeks of enduring it. my mom must be proud to have a daughter like me because i did tried to use the washing machine for the first time once. washed my own clothes only. no sharing2. wakakaa.. during that period of time,(absence of maid) i washed my own dishes. i guess that were the ONLY things that i have done but still its tiring okayy.. hmpshh~ the rest my mom did. hehe.. =P



satisfied people???

Not Okay And Not Alright

Let’s talk about last 2 weeks.The match against singapore American school on the Saturday was a ‘disaster’ one. I HATE down the core when there was LIGHTNING or STORM or STRONG WINDS or THUNDER because my imaginations will subconsciously runs wild and those things really scares shit me. BUT i LOVE rain (only) though. Thanks god the game was postpone because I know for sure that if the game is to be continue, I definitely could not perform. People who are close to me, you should know me better right?? *wink*
Not just the weather affected me badly but also the fact that I did not bring even a single cents on that day. Damn it!! How can I be so forgetful not to bring any cash. Blame to the new bag that I got the day before. If only u guyz know how much I hate to transfer things out from one bag to another. Haizz.. forgetting to bring things really make your day miserable.



After the game, I decided to go home straight since my mood was quite down but some people just don’t seem to let me off and wanted me to join for makan-makan at our sponsor chalet. After being persuaded MANY times, cair jugak iman aku. Wakaka.. tak sampai hati nak disappoint them. Haizz..But seriously, I HATE myself if people trying to borrowing me money in any situation. Malu beb!! I rather people loan from me but not the other way round. That’s not my style. In case of needs of money, the only person that I will approach is my abah. Yaa2.. I know. ANAK ABAH. Whatever~
On the way there In the van, I felt like smacking the driver upside down. I was having mixed emotions at that time and the driver seems purposely turn on semua LAGU JIWANG-JIWANG. my favourite but… Ohh goshh!! Not at that point of time plsss…

Somehow my moods suddenly turned out well at the chalet. the karaoke session makes me feel like singing a song that will surely BURST everybody's ear but of course i didnt. tak jempot!! hmphh~ the competition session was happening and havoc. We decided to pluck out some courage to volunteer ourselves to take part in one of the competition. (supposingly for kids ONLY but since kite- me, adq, shidah, aki n syah perasan mase budak2.. so yaa.. hehe) .had to DANCE and STONNING. still remembered shidah shouted 'MENTAL kak, MENTAL' . hahakzz..the kratings were really supportive. they didnt really disturb our mental coz thay wanted us to win. so sweet of them. and i swear i cant win if abg kacau. FINALLY me, syah and 3 others kids won the game. hurrayy~ pure funn~! And yaa.. my coach and mama won some prizes too in carry-your-wife competition. Wakaka... Best couple. Aww.. so sweet.


okayy..that should make it up for ALL the MIXED feeling on that day!!


p.s(kratings)- thanks to the people who tried to cheer me up. Showing your care and concern, BORROWING your money to pay my transportation fees and basically whatever that you guys have done for me. Appreciate it alots.

woke up early on the Sunday morning. As usual, had to go mad. But it really got on my nerves when I reached the mosque, took attendance and guess what. We were asked to walk around at the carnival outside the mosque. Duhh~ woke up EARLY just for that. Sapa mo layan beb!! Got my ass off back home and went to continue my sleeping beauty. haizzz..

On the monday, went to Singapore expo with mom. Ngokk syarahan beb. Semangat!! The day was fine initially but somehow at the end of the day, it didnt turn out well. Kene tinggal bus!! duhh~ kecoh betol my mom. her fault la. but not entirely coz si bongok nie pon pak turot. haizz.. at last cab back home. hmph~ whatever it is, ustaz aqil rock my day!! wakaka.. no regrets going there.

On Wednesday morning, went to gelang patah with mom and abah to visit my Tok Usu. i swear i didnt know her. i cant forget when she told my dad to tell all my makcik2 and pakcik2 and sepupu2 sepusing sepusat in singapore to buy for her 'this old instrument' - i dont know whats the name of it but i know it is like piano and it can be carry on the shoulder. barang antik siol. mintak bukan2. merengek-rengek cam budak kecik. hahakzz.. cute. her funny antics really did make my day somehow.
as we were walking back to get a bus to larkin , we saw 5 stray dogs in front of us. barking2. saper tak terencat beb. abah even suggesting of taking a cab but seems theres not a single cab there. duhh~ have to pass thru the dogs since theres no other way to reach the bus 'interchange'
last2 we just walk. tawakkal. Doa yang tak terhafal pon automatic keluar dari mulut aku. Takot giler beb. nothing happened. fuhh~ felt relief.

went to eat as soon as we reached larkin. da ade energy aru pi jalan2. After praying, mom went to have body massage while abah went to have foot massage. Aku?? Ape barang nak dudok menengok jekk. I joined in too having a full body massage. First timer. Ahh~ it was a bliss!! My whole body have been ‘molested’ EXCEPT that one part la. Paham2 jekk la pat mane. But heyy.. im still ALWAYS virgin. Craps~ went to eat AGAIN after that. Yaa.. tend to eat a lot whenever masok Malaysia. Biasa jugakk. also, bought some food and magazines is a MUST before went back to singapore. hehe..

went back to my secondary school on the friday. celebrate teacher's day la konon. met my pretty-blurry-logical teacher -my favourite teacher by the way. remembered she used to praise me. maklom la, aku kan used to be paling BONGOK (the decease still survive in me now) therefore much attention given to me. dudok ALWAYS at the front row. mane tak jadi her 'favourite' student. right faly?? wakaka.. met my old friends too. i'm lying if i said i missed ALL of them but i do miss some okay. glad to see some changes here and there.

other than that, let the pics do the talking.

Went to batam on the Saturday morning with mom and adq. Finally. Its hard for adq to tag along together with us because she’s too busy with her attachment. Kesian jugak ngokk dia kadang-kadang coz she always wanted to follow us but tak kesampaian. Haizz..
The day wasn’t great initially. took ferry there and I was really pissed off and I bet mom and adq too because the India people who board together with us were so dead annoying. Standing here and there taking pictures and blocking our views, and talking their lungs out as if they owned the place. Excuse me, mind you fuckers this is not India okay. Can u have some courtesy and respect? Worst still, they don’t even know the word SORRY when did mistakes- this fucker accidentally push my mom’s head and just walk off showing his nothing-happen face. BARBARIANS whom i guess even stoneage men are even much more civilise then them. inconsiderate people. BODOHH nak MAMPOSS~

*fast forwad*

visit one of the skola aka rumah anak-anak yatim there. that's our real purpose going to batam. The people there are very friendly, pleasant and POLITE - way too far better than the FUCKERS in the ferry. we walked around the place, getting to know their way of living and we got a chance to eat the food that the people there have been eating. ONLY keropok, nasi, sambal belacan and soup sayor. kecian kn. the people there are shortage of food and we here happily wasting food. haizz.. sayu bile tengok air muke dorang. how i wish i could stay there for some time so that aku tau hidup dalam kesusahan. all in all, Singapore is always a better choice. im grateful that im born here.

not so much of shopping since half of the day had gone. nothing catches my attention there. bought ONLY a pethatic book for myself. after a little walking-here-walking-there, we went to eat at god knows where. i ate MI AYAM BAKSO. SUPPERBB~ after that, ferry back to singapore. home sweet home.

p.s kinshe- anway, i dont think its too late to wish my deary friend Kinshe a HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY. wakaka.. a cute friend of mine, very SELENGER bacin, ALWAYZ kanchiong spider, a LOYAL daughter too *wink* and i simply admire her patience in TOLERATING people nonsense. all the best in whatever you do. i'll always be here for you whenever you need me. gotta meet you soon. cheers~

am i a FAILURE??

this is so random. Checked my daily grades and guess what. I got ONLY 5 pathetic As in semester 1. Wahh~ susah dapat tuu. Don’t deny jealous jugak knowing my friends grade- STACKS of A’s. menyampah. Hmpph~ But whatever it is, im still proud of myself. Syabas!! Hoping that I’ll get more A’s in the next semester. Talking about next semester, I think I need to start mugging hard. And hell, calculated ALL my grades, my GPA is below than 2. shitty shit. No more prolly stone nor sleeping in class, no more skipping school for me (I hope so. Hehe..) if I don’t wish to re-take the modules which I fail.

Yohaa~

pardon me for not updating my blog regularly and i am extremely physically and mentally drained. been busy with soccer trainings, schooling (cam paham) and some stupid stuffs. that's the reasons why did blog is so dead lately. the days had been pretty great somehow but not always. there are sure to be Ups N Downs. haizz.. im currently rotting at home but at the same waiting for time to pass by. had game later against singapore american school. gotta play striker this time round. wth~ wish me luck people!!

this is so random. i DESPERATELY wanted to fly to Dubai people!! don't ask me why. anybody out there who cares to SPONSOR me to go there?? whatever~ soon. just you wait.

SUGAR, SUGAR- Archies i'm just so in love with this song right now!!

more updates later alligator. bluekzz.. chalobeteh~

Anything~

Let me see what i could remember about last week. Had a friendly match with my school last Wednesday. we won them 5-1. We managed to score ONLY after the second half. tu pon lepas kena maki coz we play hell SUCKS. We underestimate their skills and kita ikut cara rentak permainan dorang. we missed alot of shots and almost all our corner kick dont seem to work eventhough we did train on it the day before. Haizz.. naseb2.. Adq did the opening goal after the break. caya la captain. wakaka.. semangat and NAFSU sume HIGH alek after that. hee.. the opponent managed to score a goal and guess what, their celebration like winning world cup seyy.. duhh~ semangat REPUBLIC katekan. well..what can i say. hehe.. Hmm.. im glad got to play for the whole game (80 or 90 minutes). FINALLY.. after so long i've waited for it. (tu pon naseb coz our player CUN2 seyy) And to be honest i dont feel tired playing the game. Am i FIT enough?? padahal2. hehe.. alaa..small field ble la. Try at stadium, tak sempot pon naseb seyy.. duhh~ and the surrounding at my school field is cooling man. How exciting would it be IF we could train there. FAT HOPE. whatever~ I cant judge my own performance arh but for sure i did better in the first half than in the second one. reason because i realized the way i ran. i STEP macho ran as usual but it seems that i kept limping (NOT purposely okay AND i dont think its COOL doing that) in the second half. that means my right leg is TIRED. i could feel the vibration too. got 'anti- shock' at times. shit!! i felt uncomfortable having one leg 'heavier' but it cant be help. kaki da reput beb. endure jekk laa.. Overall, great match played by the kratings. but i believe we could do better in the league later. err..i suspect MAKI & PRESSURE adalah kunci kejayaan for the team. craps. but maybe... whatever~ anyway player of the day is syah. well done!!

ohh yaa.. went to celebrate shidah aka beck birthday at town on the sunday. goshh!! i hate that place man but ANYTHING~ supposingly mit them at 2 at orchard control station but biase laa.. JANJI MELAYU. thought i was late but guess what, im the FIRST person to reach there. hishh.. susah dapat tuu. mit bro iz and mas and off we went to far east. mit the rest there. (adq, birthday gal, eta'a and wani) went to eat at sakura. kecoh seyy pat sane. i know, you know, we know people. *wink* after eating, kite blah gikk cari tempat nak makan cake plak. makan lagi, duhh~ found a place at coffee bean and there was where the cutting cake ceremony began. macam paham jekk aku nie.. hee.. i was been BULLIED there!! terok seyy dorang. jage korang. ada ubi ada batas, lain kali aku BALAS. bluekk. after that, we planned to go kbox but it was way too EXPENSIVE so yaa we got our ass to west coast to play bowling instead. it was hell FUN there. this time semua sporting, semua main. played two games at first but since everybody is HIGH (mentang2 da dapat the touch), we added one more game. and the most funniest part was when eta'a terlepaskan bola on her last game. memeber da penat. kesian die. wakaka.. laugh at her like mad. kekek arh budak nie. and im sorry to say that you are really selenger bacin. hee.. mane tak, im trying to be sacarstic to you, adjusting your spectacles coz you kept aiming to the right and left longkang but you dont seem to get my real intention. haizz~ cute laa you.
p.s (shidah) - Happy 21st birthday. goshh!! you are OLD alraedy. hehe.. psst..the past is history, the future is what that matters. *wink*

Endurance Training

the pictures say it all.








wrapped up the week i spent 3 days 2 nights at pasir ris chalet with the kratings. The endurance training was absolutely a Hell fun one and for sure there would be memories to bring back. Kenangan terindah – 1) at the beach with adq.*wink* (kekek arh budak nie) 2) morning breakfast- Goshh!! got burnt 2 bread. Shit! But its NOT entirely my fault coz that the first time I tried to use MICROWAVE. Bright future to be a bad cooker. But somehow you have to be grateful IF I manage to cook at least an EDIBLE food. So my future HUSBAND.. prepared!! 3) the spirit and the team bonding. U know, I know, we know kratings!! And yeahh.. my name was OFFICIALY changed from KECIK to KAKAK. *wink* Weird right?? Err.. no comments.

Get to snap 2 pictures ONLY at the CHALET. Pathetic kan. Everybody seems to enjoy themselves sampai tak teringat nak amek gambar. duhh~ such a waste. Took some pictures before we went back home. Tu pon bukan nyer balik teros. After eating at cavaana we went to play bowling. Sempat tuu.. Hishh.. (sorry mar, wani, coach ib and ma'am coz i could not get your pic)





P.s (Mar)- known her from secondary school days but we are'nt that close. can't remember much about her during secondary life although we used to play in the same team. Duhh~ Sorry mar. If only you know that i have a bad memory. Get to know her better after i joined redhill rangers. Remembered the first time we mit at the canteen. Kecoh beb. sume cerita keluar. wakaka. i dont regret knowing her because her forte is making people burst all out like nobody business. kalau bende tak keluar dari mulot pon naseb. She never fail to amuse me with her nonsense. Learnt a lot from here. *wink* I realized that she is concern too in some way or another. You know what I mean right?? i really admire her kick. mampat beb. solid laa. To be honest, personally i feel that she is the cutest player in the team. just because she have dimple- macam tabung, ble masok duet.hehe..(im SERIUOSLY jealous) kalau tak, tak dapat argh! hahakz. dont mess around with her when she's in bad mood. Siap arh. Tak bersalah pon kene. that's a bad thing about her. Another one is that she was quiet sensitive. kacau sikit merajuk. but i like it SOMETIME. i dont know why. maybe she is full of sacarsm that made her look cute. But guess what. recently, she have change to be a better. she is more reasonable and wiser now. happy for her.hopefully it last. heee..


P.s(Bro Iz)- Thanks for the firsthand experience at the jacuzzi. Free theraphy plus advise lagi. Duhh~ appreciate it a lot. And thanks also for treating me like your own sis. Im sincerely touched when you said about the jigsaw puzzle thingy *wink* coz all this while I don’t expect much from anybody. Anyway, im the SURVIVOR in day 2. wakaka...

P.s(wani)- im sorry that im not done with you. I don’t know why suddenly everything slip off my mind. Maybe my brain not functioning well at night. N yaa,, don’t worry coz whatever it is, I believe that it will not affect our relationship. I appreciate EVERYTHING that you have done for me all this while. *wink*

To the rest of the kratings yang sewaktu dengannya, you guyz really ROCK my days. Thanks a million times for everything. N Im SINCERELY SORRY if my words did hurt any of you guyz. Im just being honest. Indeed its me.

Gerek kaperr~

wanted to update stuffs here but hell yeah im freaking busy lately. okay. it was a FANTASTIC week last week. let me recall some of the incident that happened. I got to ride on a bus that did not close the door AND the bell was not working. Luckily it was just 1 stop journey before everything was fine as usual . Me n faly da kekek macam nak mampos. Tak ble angkat seyy. And yaa.. I skipped class AGAIN on Tuesday. My group (me,farid,hidayah,fatin& rogini) sume blah after that fucking UT because could not tolerate the school wireless connection. It was hell SUCKS. On top of that, the problem statement for the day really dampen our spirit to endure everything. So yaa.. we (except rogini) went to ang mo kio hub. First time gikk sane. Jakon seyy. Almost all the shops nak masok. Ghairah beb. Wakaka. Ate flavoured yoghurts. awesome~ (but at last terkencit. Duhh~) Went back to school with fatin. (I know its lame) No choice because I have soccer match while fatin need to go for her IG. N Yessa, DSES won DSLM finally. Hehe.. Played for them for less than ten minutes because I ‘breakdown’. Biase laa. Kaki daa mintak ampon. It always happened to me but this time i felt something was wrong. Cuak beb coz there’s NO more ‘clicking’ sound. Wanted to tell Bro Iz about it but I know for sure he will blame me for this ( his favourite phrase-Tu laa..STEP terror pi maen lagi. SENDIRI carik. TAK suroh) so decided to keep from him instead. Im sorry I have to do this but I HATE to hear people nagging at me. Takot nyerr pasal, told shidah about it. I knew she could not help much but at least im relieve when she said its NORMAL. Cume bengkak jekk. Thanks shidah for comforting me despite knowing you are helpless. I really appreciate it. haizz.. REGRET playing for them. Amekk kau!!- present for fucking STUBBORN person like me. Wanted to go for school soccer training after that but my friends stopped me. Ade hati lagi nak pi physical training with that condition. Mintak kene maki jekk aku nie. Hishh.. But going training is not my only motive. Have other motive in mind but yaa again HOPELESS. Boring could not join them for training, I took cab and off to bpp to meet faly and kinshe. Mati arhh.. sempat merayap. But who cares. Hmm.. i remembered one of the day in that week i went to chill with mira and kinshe after school. Finally. aku rase kawan aku makin lame tak jumpe makin buang tebiat dioarang. mira bought green shirt SETAKAT nak celebrate GREEN day. semangat~ but the best part was we went thru 'photo' session. its hard to get a perfect picture. haizz.. kesian kawan sampai gelabah coz mak da call. *wink* hehe..

It was the first day of the week but i was DEVASTATINGLY tiring! Physically and mentally tired. Could not focus well in school but i did not give a damn. Both mangkoks (faly & kinshe) and i have planned earlier to eat together during our breaktime so i decided to bring food from home instead. (entah ape angin nk pi makan sama2 for that week). Went to soccer training after school. Tu pon nak taknak jekk pergi. Really FORCED myself to go because i will not be going for the next 2 trainings since i have something on in school. I am too shagged after training. Went back home straight and doze off. zzz.. im sorry to say that im really pissed with you for throwing my things away. You are CONCERN?? I hate it!


The Tuesday was not interesting at all. Other then had to take that fucking UT (enterprise). Denga2 exam interesting. Duhh~ Cut of the crap!







The SHL Cup started today(wednesday) but the soccer match that i took part would only be held tomorrow. That means i was been CHEATED again. Skipping my soccer training since i did not bring all the gears needed. Ended up, went to fajar mac for a chill with that two badigols. Got to meet mira there. (keje kaperr gal. hahakz) Missed her loads and Iman's too. As usual, we never failed to take pictures of ourselves. ( sayang seyy mira nga keje that time) Vain ehk kite. hahakz. But who cares. Anyway someone said i have a bad photographic skills?? Or izit YOU that will NEVER look pretty in pictures?? Or simply said u CANT be photogenic. hahakz. Jahat seyy aku. People, you decide! *wink* Caught her sleeping in the bus. hehe. *wink* Picture of the day. (top right hand corner)

Had UT(science) in the morning. Borinn.. Y? Coz i bet i could not make it. Whatever. After school went to soccer match. DSES lost to DSLM 1-0. SHIT! Own goal seyy. So unlucky. But its okay. We will fight back in the next match the next day. Ernie- Sorry i could not score for you.

I really felt very fucked up on friday. Went to school alone AGAIN today. Da BIASE daa kene tinggal so tak pasal arh. Lagipon i knew thats my fault. But thats not so much about it. What makes me pissed off is that when there's nobody want to eat with me for the first time. Korang cakap jekk nk pi mkn gader2 for that week but end sume tinggalkan aku. Duhh~ Waited you guys cam buah tak jatoh seyy. Sampai caket perot coz too hungry. End up i went to eat ALONE only AFTER 1. Naseb baek school kite banyak tempat isolated. Sedih seyy makan sorang2. But what to do. Aku kan sape.. Emo laa plakk aku nie.. duhh~ But its okay coz i understand that you guyz are BUSY, dapat group cam siak etc. whatever your reasons laa ehk. But one thing for sure, aku da majokk nie. Aku da tknk mkn ngan korang lagi arh. Leceh arh janji2 nie sume. Uat caket ati jekk. Klo nk mkn ngan aku beep ciang2. Klo tknk forget it. Went to soccer match after school. Second match and we managed to draw our score 1 all before the game postponed to next tuesday due to raining. 10 minutes left and it will be quite lame if we continued with that timing therefore everyone decided to change the timing to 20 minutes for each half for the next match. After the match, farrah dragged me to join soccer training with her. I agreed since it was too early for me to go back home. Furthermore, i have other motives in mind. *wink* Plan did not work! Shit!


Saturday morning i had match at ngee ann poly. Woke up late but luckily nita was late too. Thanks to abah for waking me up. His intention was to make me help my mom at the stall but i have to go for match instead. Sorry for not telling you earlier. Knowing that i have match, he prepared for me BREAKFAST while I got myself ready. Aww.. sweetkn? Love you so strong abah! Like it or not i FORCED myself to eat. Don't want to disappoint him. Anak MITHALI katekn. hee.. Mit nita and mar at usual bus-stop and off we went to ngee ann. I have to change team AGAIN because one of the player not coming. Duhh.. Got to team with Abg Din, Ace, Utt and Syah. Overall, our team performance not bad laa. Depends on Abg Din alot. Personally my performance SUCKS although I did scored a few goals. ( they said i did score hat-trick - what is HAT-TRICK actually?. hahakz.. ) What i know for sure is that all the goals i scored are by LUCK. I missed penalty shot and end up we lost 1-0 by penalty. Okayy laa tu, at least we got forth. Prizes we received also sikit lebih kurang halal. (got a sleveless jersey & medal - tu jekk color different. hehe..) I don't really bother all the stuffs but at least it pleased my mom and abah. (they have been complaining about my skin color- they feared that nobody wants me. duhh.. rubbish. Im still young seyy. Klo jodoh tak ke mane kn) My priority NOW is to get back my touch. I lost almost EVERYTHING due to injury. My confidence level taknk cakap. HANCOR! This kind of condition FAT HOPE la klo nk maen league in august nanti. Haizz. Only time tells. Ernie - Thanks for the goal babe! Love u so strong. I did it one for YOU too. hee.. Aki - You look so sexy with my shirt on. hahakz. Im sorry to say that with you around, it DAMPEN my spirit to play. Despite stealing of glances and longing look, i doubt it will lead us anywhere. Went back home straight after the match WITH Linda but sadly to say we did'nt talk. Am i a STRANGER to you? But its okay, who cares. (anyway sorry guyz i did not get to join you all to watch match at the National Stadium. SUPER tired la) Reached home, doze off. Zzz..Woke up at 7 plus, washed up and off to bpp with mom and adq. (mit Faly and her cayang- memotek jekk keje korang ehk. Duhh~) Pity my adq because she have rashes all over her body. Camner ble kene pon tak tau. My leg is hurting me AGAIN. Damn it!

Help my mom at the stall early in the morning today. (sunday. duhh~ ingatkan takde mad ble angon lambat2 but i was wrong. Pantang orang ade pat uma. Ade jekk bende nak kene uat. borinn..) Saw Aliff with his dad. Tersengeh-sengeh. Ade kerr my mom suro aku mintak his autograph. Tak dapat arh. Duhh~ Minat memang laa but im not that desperate kind. But sadly to say I find that Kassreal is cuter. hee.. I was feeling a little down and tired today. Would not talk about it. Haizz.. Anyway, today was for the first time in my life that i watch Prisoner of Azkaban. Unbelieveable right? Yelarr, aku mane minat tengok cerita macam nie. But i dont know camnerr ble TERsangkot pulak with the story. Merepek die ble tahan but gerek arh. Looking forward to watch the continuation. hehe.

WATEVAA~

Okay, lets start off with Monday. As usual went off to school early in the morning with kinshe (pity faly kena CHIKENpox) but when we reached woodlands interchange we decided to 'pont' school instead. So we took bus 960 to town and that bloody bus passed by our house on the way there. Stupid us, both big headed did not want to take train. (hehe-bus concession nyer pasal) Nowhere to go, we got off down and went to NATIONAL library. (2 bus-stops away-kinshe's fault make me walked.duhh~ ) National library is cool and big. Jakon sey! Downloaded some school stuffs, checking mails and stuffs. Went to meet nita for lunch but before we leaved, we explored the toilet. It might not look any much different from other toilets but still, we took pictures. Who cares. Hahakz.
Went to eat at mac and as usual ordered my favourite meal. I ended up eating only the fries while the burger i kept it inside my bag AGAIN. Have not been eating well this few days but who cares. After eating, we went to NAPHA. Kinshe wanted to take pictures of statue that wrote 'I WAS HERE'. Dragged nita along although she have to return back to the office. Skali skale jadik budak jahat ehk nita. *wink*. We reached the school and realized that the statue was no longer there. U cheat my feeling seyy kinshe. Hishh. Took cab and sent nita to her office. Sweet kn kite?? hee.. Padahal2. Kinshe and I headed to suntec after that. Survey2 barang. Fooling around at the toys'r'ous. Went to marina, esplanade and PS. Took alot of pictures as if we are the foreigner. Got lost a few times. Tu laa, step terror lagi. We really had a great time together although its only both of us. Baru 2 org da kecoh. (belom ade si mangkok faly 2). Aniway thanks Kinshe. U really made my day! Waited for nita to finish her work and we went to traning together. Cab LAGI. hishh. Reached training ground step tired. Konon nyerr dari school laa 2. hahakz. EKSEN lebih. NO training!.. Watevaa..


On Tuesday morning, went to school and guess what. Faly is back! Yeyy! Miss her lots especially her nosense and laughs. hahakz. U missed your holiday due to CHIKENpox. Ohh..2 bad. Pity u laa cannot went out with your loves one. *wink* hehe. Lesson finished about 4 plus but did my assignments (thanks kinshe for helping me to do my reflection journal-hahakz) first before went back home with that 2 jokers. Reached home about 6 plus and doze off.. zzz. Im awake at around 12.30 and checked my phone, reply all the messages and continue back my sleeping beauty. Burok sey tido but it's 2 pay back all days which i have not been sleeping well.

The next day, meet kinshe and faly as usual at the bus-stop. Both my friends betol2 slenger bacin nari. hahakz. Yang 1 naek bus membabi bute den turon alekk just because there was another same bus behind. Da laa 2, pi rushed cam bdak bodo bt at last it was not our bus. hahakz. yang menyedihkan cayaang die nmpk. 2 laa..gelojoh sngt kn korang. Sendiri malu. hehe. Yang lagi 1 hamba Allah nie pulak asekk tersandong jekk bile jalan. 2 laa, konon2 pkai slipa pompan ble jadi next american top model. Klo cam gini nak jdikk s'pore model pon TAK dapat laa gal. hahakz. Reached woodland interchange, thought of walking to school as usual but faly and kinshe dragged me along to take cab with them. Korang nie betol2 malu kan aku laa. Hishh. It was not even late sey but korang da kanchiong spider. Duhh.. Indeed it was them. Discipline laa konon. Hopefully that was my first and the last for me to take cab to school UNLESS it's raining. hehe. Again after school, kinshe met me in my class. She gave up waited too long for me to finish my assingnments and ended up helping doing my reflection journal AGAIN. hahakz. Love u babe! Im not lazy okayyy. It's just that u guyz are faster thinker than me. heee. Reached home, slept awhile, watched suria's drama '2 X 5 DOL' and went off to STUDY. Study konon! Pi da mabokk..

On thursday, same routine. Not so much difference from any other days. Had UT in the morning and the test sucks. Cnt make it! WATEVAA.. Rushed to my arabic class after school. It was the last day for that module. And had to sit another test for the day. Damn it! N the test AGAIN.. Forget it! Should i continue the next module?? Only time tells.. Gosh! Got cheated lagi. Reached training ground on friday but they had finished training. Hishh. Borinnn..

Saturday- Went to celebrate Bro Iz birthday at town with true soccer mates. Went to art museum to watch sleeq but end up got to watch only Danielle (artist) performance. Tunggu sleeq untok perform macam buah tak jatoh sey. Yang laen group tk paya comment arh. Mostly cannot make it rite mar?? hehe.. Aku pon cam paham jekk. Mit many of my secondary friends there but tak tegor arh. Either korang sombong atau aku pemalu sangat. hahakz. Meet ernie, mas and syah before we went to lau pa sat to eat. After that, we walked to marina to eat the cake. Initial plan nak pi makan cake pat suntec but jalan nyerr jlan tap tk sampai2. hahakz. kekek betol. Im so touched by what Bro Iz said arh but for SURE aku TAK kene brainwash by anybody. To Bro Iz, Happy Birthaday! psst.. duet raya saya mane??

And today morning I went to mad. (tak to ape tu step to jekk) I cant concentrate well because im too tired and sleepy. Reached home, i doze off. zzz.. Aku TERbangon when i dreamt of someone. Shit! U really spoilt my sleep! I cant sleep after that. I slept less than 3 hours. Pelik coz slalu nyerr i spent my whole day sleeping. Damn it! Luckily my parents ajakk keluar pi marine parade. I was overjoyed when i heard that. Dalam hati boleh aku emo2 japp tepi laut. Step emo konon. hahakz. End up my parents pi tanjong katong complaex. Mane lagi klo tak golden chance. Part nie Borinn.. Benci seyy nak beli2 emas nie sume. Not interested langsong. White gold at least acceptable arh but not the gold one pls. Eeii.. Yang aku geram and bingit coz kite tak jdikk pi marine parade. Duhh.. rosak plan aku. Abah cakap takkan nk bawak barang emas pi jlan2 pat tepi laut. Dangerous. Tu laa, yang gatal sangat gikk bli barang emas tu buat perr. hishh..